Justice for Abigail - Your Help is Urgently Needed

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As many of you know, we have been raising my wife's grandchild as our own daughter since shortly after her birth. Some of you have met her, many of the collectors here have sent her animal themed coins for her collection during swaps with her Daddy.



She's a quite lovable little lady who is adored by everyone and makes new friends wherever we go. I take her everywhere with me and were best friends. She will celebrate her 6th birthday in September and we are the only family she has ever known. The malnourished, neglected baby that we first gave a home to has transformed into a radiantly happy young girl. It wasn't easy, her early months left her in a state of shock emotionally and she was in the bottom ten percentile for height and weight. I've sat awake many nights beside her bed holding her little hand and soothing her brow as she fought against terrible nightmares. We had a three year struggle to bring her to a normal state of mind. She's finally symptom free and is in every respect just a healthy, happy intelligent child. It took an enormous toll on us, physically, emotionally and financially but in the end it was all worthwhile.



Suddenly everything has gone wrong and for inexplicable reasons we have been ordered by the state to turn Abby over to the intermittently homeless junkie who abandoned her all those years ago. So, we're fighting it, but to do so is going to cost far more than we can put together.

We're lightening the ship, selling anything we can live without but it's too little and not fast enough. We are being forced to hand our little princess over to strangers on or before 10th August.

F*** that, over my dead body we will.

There are many ways in which you can help.

We have a fundraising page - Justice for Abigail which is doing great. You can read the entire story of the legal insanity, political correctness, betrayal and greed there. Don't worry if you can't make a contribution, these are hard times and I know there are people worse off than we are. But would you at least share it on social media so it reaches the widest audience possible? I have several thousand Facebook followers and a long dormant Twitter account but it's still a limited reach. I'd like to ask each one of you for your help in making a worthwhile story go viral instead of articles about thugs torturing dogs to death.

As you've probably guessed I'm going to be liquidating a whole lotta coins and adding the proceeds to Abby's legal fund. These will be sold under the generic title "AUCTIONS FOR ABIGAIL". At least some will be listed on the Swaps & Trades Forum. Typically these will be modest sized lots of coins with a very competitive starting bid. To comply with Numista's rules (yeah I'm sure there are skeevy people who would complain even about this) they won't be true auctions. They will be listed for a 24 hour period with a pretty low price plus shipping at cost ($6 US). Shipping will be combined for multiple wins. If anyone wants to exceed the asking price then of course I would be very happy, in fact I'm kinda counting on it to make it a worthwhile effort.

It would be most helpful if one of the forum moderators could tack the "Auctions for Abigail" threat to the top of the page once it's created.

If anyone would like to donate a few coins or lots to the auctions, please let me know and I'll arrange to have them added under your name. I'll need a photo, to comply with forum rules. I'll be happy to reimburse you for the shipping costs.

I'm exploring other options as well including coming out of a long exile as a writer. I have many years experience writing content anonymously for web pages. I can write on most subjects, but numismatics, history, modern politics will likely yield better results than subjects such as "post feminist lesbian art". If you or someone you know needs first class articles then let me know. These are typically done on a cents per word plus profit sharing basis but as time is of the essence I'll work cheap for a modest sum and even surrender copyright to the buyer. You will never get a better deal!

We have had an offer for a lot of tee-shirts with "JUSTICE FOR ABIGAIL" printed on them but this appears to have stalled.

If anyone has any other ideas to raise money quickly or even better, can arrange it (my time is short and my energy is running out) that would be much appreciated. I've never done anything like this before so I'm swimming in uncharted waters.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
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Sorry to hear that.
have you tried creating a go fund me page? Not sure how it works but it might be a good idea.
Quote: "Hello There"​Sorry to hear that.
​have you tried creating a go fund me page? Not sure how it works but it might be a good idea.
​Raised $620 in 24 hours.....

https://www.gofundme.com/justice-for-abigail
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Could one of the mods please "sticky" this, first entries will follow tonight.

https://en.numista.com/forum/topic59758.html
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
You have it sticky (thank to some moderator, I cannot do it myself).

I just shared it for the start on twitter.

Did you tried getting more awareness to the fundraising campaign? Local TVs or Newspapers would jump on the story I would guess. And people are somehow generous when they feel they give funds to the right place, they just need to know.

There are countless "how to make money fast articles" on the internet, some might give good ideas, but they tend to repeat themselves.
Catalogue administrator
I'm sorry to hear that. I may be able to make a modest donation next pay. Good luck!
All of us can also change their profile forum badge (text that comes as a signature) to raise awareness and spread it across forums here, as I did now.
Catalogue administrator
All the best in your noble fight Phil! Let us know if there is anything else beside donations we can do for you.
Thank you folks.

I have an old friend who is a full time activist and publicist with plenty of contacts in the Florida media. I'm hoping to persuade him to deal with the publicity. It would take a huge weight off my shoulders. I've been getting very little sleep since March and fast wearing out.

I'll be contacting our state representatives and our Governor. If this is legal then I'm going to change the law.

We even have the support of a budding country singer who is including a song dedicated to Abigail in each performance and at the other end of the spectrum our local gay community are getting behind us. Everybody loves Abby.

Over 70 people have shared the story on Facebook, it's creating quite a buzz. I hope it's enough to catch the eye of local TV stations. I might even have to start answering my phone! Those who know me, know that I don't use telephones.

By the end of the week were projecting that we'll have enough to start interviewing some lawyers. So far we've been railroaded by the legal system, that's going to change.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
It's terrible when people use kids as blackmail, and it's heartbreaking though not surprising when parents do this to their own flesh and blood. I suppose such long term substance abuse warps the mind to a point where one is not human anymore.

i hope you will succeed and put this all behind you soon
Outings administrator
I am sorry to hear of your situation Phil. I get married in 42 days so money is extremely tight at present, but will be more than happy to make a donation after next month. In the meantime I have shared your story/link on my Facebook page:



I have also sent an e-mail out to my work colleagues with a link to the page, asking them to also share on their Facebook pages when they get home tonight.

I really hope justice prevails for you.

T'other Phil
What a story, Phil! Sorry you and your family are going through this.

I don't need any pesos right now, but I was thinking I could look through your swap list and buy some coins from you. Or are you too busy to deal with a la carte sales/swaps right now?
Quote: "Jesse11"​What a story, Phil! Sorry you and your family are going through this.

​I don't need any pesos right now, but I was thinking I could look through your swap list and buy some coins from you. Or are you too busy to deal with a la carte sales/swaps right now?
​Not at all my dear Jesse. Pick whatever you'd like and I'll work out a very attractive price for you.

I'll be listing some more large lots (no more Pesos, I promise) today. These are coins from a variety of sources which never made it as far as my swap list. For some years now I've been filling a bucket with thousands of coins which I'd always thought I'd spend my twilight years sitting on my front porch of an evening sorting through them. Might as well put them to some good use.

I've been keeping meticulous records of each cent received and at the end of each month I'll transfer the money from each source into the main fund. You will see the numista total marked "Numista contributions". I'm guessing they won't charge me 8% on these "offline contributions" that get added towards the total? If so, I'll have to rethink this. Either way I'll put together a list of each donor and post it to the forum along with a running total. If anyone prefers to remain anonymous, please let me know. I won't disclose the individual amounts though, a $5 donation from a poor bloke means as much to me as a $500 from a rich one. Aye, the biggest single contribution so far was $500 from a guy I barely know apart from our common interest in WWII militaria. How about that eh?

I've been writing to each contributor individually and Abby has been doing her part too. She's been counting out the coins to be sold into piles of ten and writing her own thank you cards. Here's one for y'all to share. It says "THANK YOU, LOVE ABBY" and it's a picture of a happy Abby with her family. I'm the guy on the far left.

Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
If anyone would like to follow events on Facebook, here's the link to my profile-

https://www.facebook.com/philip.nightingale.3
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Phil My heart and prays are with you and family. When you have time should I write a check to you or Abbey fund your friend daryl
It is, what it is, or is it.
Could one of our bilingual members be so kind as to draw the attention of our French cousins to this topic?
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
My Collecting Cave has changed, post separation, but Abbey's sketch to me retains a prominent spot over my desk. I'll spend some time this weekend sorting my Canadian doubles and junk silver for donation. All the best.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.  It's what you know for sure, that just ain't so.  Mark Twain
You, your wife and Abby are in my thoughts and prayers. This is just complete insanity!

My previous job finished end of March and I am starting a new job on Monday, so after 6 weeks without an income the finances are tight. I will however do what I can.
Phil, PM sent.
I sell my Duplicate or Un-Needed coins on eBay: https://www.ebay.com/str/coinsandmorenj.
Phil I'm putting up my swaplist for sale this next week and I'll send you 10% of whatever I get. I'm not sure how I'll do but hopefully I'll be able to send you a bit.

Matt
Hi Phil I donated a little, hope it can help on the way to save Abby stay with you and your wife. I have also forwarded the message to facebook in the hope that some more people can help you reach your target.

All the best to you, your wife and Abbigail.

Stay strong and don't loose hope

(;0
If you like coins, medals and tokens with ship motives follow my new instagram account with regular updates @numisnautiker
From time to time I sell some coins on Ebay make sure to follow me @apuking on Ebay.
Morning everyone!

Thanks in large part to the generosity of Numista members we plan to begin interweaving attorneys on Monday. I've only got two questions for them, can we win and how do you plan to do it?

There are several of you waiting for a response on various issues, I'm behind in my promise to write to each donor individually... there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. I've been catching up on a little lost sleep and I promised to take Abby out today but I will catch up with everything and everybody later today.

Until then let me just say that I'm very proud to know people like you.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Hi Phil, sorry to hear that. I have been at a timber framing workshop the whole of this week, so I didn't see you post. I will see if I can buy some of your coins.
Hi Phil I made a small donation and if you have time I can buy some coins from you.
I've got to take Abby to the park shortly for a five hour court ordered visitation with the junkie egg donor. This is pretty much Abby getting bored and wanting to go home, her "mother" pretending to be a parent and me glaring at her and pondering on all the different ways she could find Karma and lasting peace. (radio edit)

After that I promised Abby that she could help planting the garden for the summer so it's going to be evening before I get to sit down.

I'll be making a start on picking out the coins for many of you who have kindly offered to purchase some tonight. Thanks for being patient.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Would anyone object if I raffled a gold half sovereign? I don't see anything in the rules to forbid doing so but thought I'd check first.

Razzes and raffles have a pretty unsavory reputation in Facebook coin groups, with the winner usually turning out to be the organizer's other account! It's not something which we should ever broadly allow, for exactly those reasons however these are exceptional circumstances and once it's done, it's done. To avoid any shadow of doubt I won't be buying a ticket myself and I would encourage the moderators to check my IP address against the winner if it's someone unfamiliar.

I was thinking $10 per "ticket" with a minimum of 20 to make it worthwhile. To keep the drawing simple I'd just write the names on a folded piece of paper and let Abby pick one at random. A second draw for a consolation silver coin might be possible if there are enough entries to show a decent return. I'll find something suitable in my safe.

Payment would be by PayPal (friends and family please) although I guess there's no problem in simply mailing a $10 bill. 100% of the proceeds will go to her legal fund. I can always get another gold coin down the road but there's only one Abby.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Phil. No objections here. Put me in for 1.
Aaron
I sell my Duplicate or Un-Needed coins on eBay: https://www.ebay.com/str/coinsandmorenj.
No objections from me to. One thicket for me to.
If its of help I would take part
If you like coins, medals and tokens with ship motives follow my new instagram account with regular updates @numisnautiker
From time to time I sell some coins on Ebay make sure to follow me @apuking on Ebay.
OK from the highest. Keep it off swaps and trades, so we do not encourage such behaviour.
Catalogue administrator
Understood and thanks. Please give Dear Leader my regards.

I made y'all famous on Facebook a couple of days ago. Didn't mention any names but I did recommend the website. I know a lot of collectors who haven't signed up yet. Might bring some into the fold.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Quote: "pnightingale"​Would anyone object if I raffled a gold half sovereign? I don't see anything in the rules to forbid doing so but thought I'd check first.

​Razzes and raffles have a pretty unsavory reputation in Facebook coin groups, with the winner usually turning out to be the organizer's other account! It's not something which we should ever broadly allow, for exactly those reasons however these are exceptional circumstances and once it's done, it's done. To avoid any shadow of doubt I won't be buying a ticket myself and I would encourage the moderators to check my IP address against the winner if it's someone unfamiliar.

​I was thinking $10 per "ticket" with a minimum of 20 to make it worthwhile. To keep the drawing simple I'd just write the names on a folded piece of paper and let Abby pick one at random. A second draw for a consolation silver coin might be possible if there are enough entries to show a decent return. I'll find something suitable in my safe.

​Payment would be by PayPal (friends and family please) although I guess there's no problem in simply mailing a $10 bill. 100% of the proceeds will go to her legal fund. I can always get another gold coin down the road but there's only one Abby.
​I'd be a starter....maybe if it's not allowed on the swaps and saled thread, a thread on the free discussion forum would be OK and make it easier to keep track of the entrants. You'd probably need to set down formal guidelines for it (closing date, etc)
Will keep eye out for official raffle thread. I want to contribute as well! Will be looking for instruction. I thought of a great FB group to share the link with, they are very supportive of men's rights or rights to children to get to a safe place from a troublesome mother but it can be so difficult when so many places are "biased towards the birthmother" even with poor qualifications! I will keep sharing! I wish I could have done more on the fundme but if it it still running next payday I will try to help again! Much Love,

Cricket
Here's some great news.....

We've found an attorney who specializes in family law, specifically representing grandparents in custody battles. Female too. Of course that's not supposed to matter but we have a female lawyer opposing us (one of the most bullying, vicious, unethical, mean spirited people I've ever encountered) and a female judge. If we opt for a male lawyer it's a certainty that the opposition will play the victim card and the judge will buy into it. Momma didn't raise no fool.

Even better, she's right on the doorstep maybe 500 yards from our front door.

My wife will be doing a phone interview to get the basics tomorrow, then I'll go along and talk to her in person later this week. If her experience matches the claims on their website I think she's hired.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Hooray, good luck!
This make me really sad Phil. I don't know if you legally adopted her or not, but sadly in the US where justice has been twisted, it wouldn't really help. I know story's like this where drug mothers come back after years of living in the gutter and getting kids back that wanted to stay with their adopted parents. The Court gave them back to the birth mother, but all she wanted them for was to use them.....

Also if it would remove any doubt about the raffle, I would be willing to be the third party, I'd put all the names in the hat and let my 5 year old pull a name.

I'll be praying for you.

By the way, its amazing how Numista has banded together on the swaps page, I just took a look over there!
Taking a break from swapping for a while, but still interested in pre 1799 Spanish coins, I will make time for that!

Looking for pre 1783 coins
Phil, i wish you the best of luck and I am praying for you and your wife and Abby. I have not swapped with you on the site but I have seen that you are very well respected and that everyone on this site appreciates your contributions, and am happy to lend my support. I am working to win a few auctions, but win or loose I am making sure some support gets to you from me and my family.
Following your updates!
Reece
Hi Phil, we had only a short conversation and trade, but you helped me so much with my education about coins and stamps, I am more than happy to help. If they are still available, put me down for one of your tickets, just PM me with information where I can send the money.
Hugs of compassion and many wishes of hope..
Darcy
Count me in for a ticket too. Loading some more money into my Paypal account ASAP.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.  It's what you know for sure, that just ain't so.  Mark Twain
I'll be in for 2 tickets for the ruffle.
I've got to finalize a lot of sales from my swap list for several folks who have been waiting patiently. Once I wrap that up I'll set about organizing it. I'm very grateful to our Dear Leader for allowing it. There's a great potential for abuse but I'd hope y'all know me well enough to know it will be completely above board and legit.

Typically in these events there are a fixed number of tickets, usually enough to generate a 100% mark up. If everyone is OK with it I'd like to keep it open ended and just sell as many tickets as possible between now and let's say Sunday evening when the draw will take place. Of course that reduces the odds of winning so I'll be adding enough consolation prizes (depending on the number of entries) to even those odds a little.

It's a one off thing so I reckon we might as well make a big splash.

I'm very far behind in my efforts to write to everyone who has contributed in some way individually. If this applies to you, please don't mistake a lack of time for a lack of gratitude. I'm hampered by a left foot stress fracture (great timing eh?) and I was up until 4 am writing letters to Gov. Scott and the State legislature. Win or lose, when this is finally over I'll be taking a very long rest.

To friends and strangers, old members and new, the near and far, rich and poor, thank you all for your efforts.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Great leader did not yet said anything. I took this decision on me.
Catalogue administrator
Hello Phil,

I have just transmitted your call for support on the francophone forum. Here is the link https://fr.numista.com/forum/topic59893.html#p492347
I hope it will help.

Courage !

André
Quand l'Histoire et la Géographie se croisent sur nos pièces de monnaie ...
Referee for Austria-Habsburg, Austrian Netherlands, Austrian States, Bohemia, Silesia.
Traducteur, demandez en cas de besoin ! Translator, ask if you need !
Today, after almost six years we received a check from the Child Support Agency for $95. It seems that they've put a garnishment on the worthless egg donor's wages.

It's going to be a real pleasure to cash the check and add the money to Abigail's defence fund.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Raffle for Abby is now up and running -

https://en.numista.com/forum/topic59910.html

Good luck!
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Dear Phil! Could you please give us an update on how you're tracking towards the $$ goal? As GoFundMe shows the goal of $25K and there is barely 10% of that amount contributed there I think knowing what the gap can help us finding more ways of helping you. I know there is money from various other sources (sales here, raffle, etc) and it may be hard for you to have exact numbers but rough estimate will do at this point.
Quote: "smoked_caramel"​Dear Phil! Could you please give us an update on how you're tracking towards the $$ goal? As GoFundMe shows the goal of $25K and there is barely 10% of that amount contributed there I think knowing what the gap can help us finding more ways of helping you. I know there is money from various other sources (sales here, raffle, etc) and it may be hard for you to have exact numbers but rough estimate will do at this point.
​I'll be most happy to Eugene. Bear with me, it gets somewhat complicated.

The 25k is a conservative estimate of the worst case scenario, fighting a war on two fronts. (Ask Hitler if that's a good idea!).

There are two paths we can follow -

A] To contest the Egg Donor's (herein referred to by our family name for her - Eggy, the father is called Spermy, see the pattern?) demands and return to the previous status quo. We retain sole guardianship of Abby and Eggy has weekly visitation rights but never shows up.

B] To launch a parallel but separate action to terminate Eggy's rights entirely and adopt Abby.

Today we hired who I believe is the right attorney for the job, with an initial deposit of $250 and the rest of the $2,000 retaining fee to be paid next week. She's very bright, emotionally detached and understood the case quickly. She's got a lot of family law experience, much of it representing grandparents in situations like ours. From what she tells me it's usually a case where a child's return is sought after 6 months or a year, long enough for the parents to get their lives together. Demanding the return of a six year old who has had plenty of time to form attachments is practically unheard of. So that's good I reckon.

So, the initial $2,000 dollars is enough to get started down either route. The first step is to approach Eggy via her attorney and ask if she will consent to adoption, option B. It may be an attractive offer as she wouldn't be liable for future child support however it is pretty clear that she sees Abby as her welfare ticket. Adoption with consent would cost about $3,000, if it's contested it would be treble that amount and we would still have to fight the other case which will be anywhere from $2,500 to $5,000. So while both options are in play for now we're going to have to choose one by June.

The next step is to take a deposition. This is done under oath but outside of the courtroom. However anything said is admissible in court. The idea is to ask loaded questions and try to rattle her into saying something stupid, or in this case blurting out the truth. It's costly though - around $700. I think this would be a good chance to kill her case quickly so we will most likely go ahead with this.

Then, the most likely route is to take option A but make sure that Eggy understands that if she loses I will pursue her to the ends of the earth and make sure that she pays every cent of child support until Abigail's 18th birthday. This might make adoption seem like a very good idea but her career as a welfare claimant will come to an end.

This is just the first round, there will inevitably be more hearings and a whole new round of costs.

The fundraising efforts have been going much better than anticipated. There is just over $2,300 in the gofundme account which so far hasn't been touched but paying the initial retainer next week is going to drain that. Gofundme is great in that it allows you a basic platform to begin a campaign which is in a format where it can be easily shared by social media. It also allows anyone to view the donations (anonymous donors can only be seen by the organiser but the amount is still shown). I think most people feel reassured by the transparency. Many people have been sharing both the original message and the updates that I've been adding as things develop. The only drawback is that any funds withdrawn are subject to fees which total around 8%. I'm not complaining, they have their overheads to cover but it's still something to be aware of.

PayPal is much better, there are no fees for withdrawal and donations made using the "friends and family" option are not subject to any fees. There's currently $1,400 in there, most of it due to the kindness of Numista members. A couple of old friends have each made donations of $100 each but the remainder has come from you guys. Several Numista folks have also made contributions to the gofundme account. I haven't an exact figure but I'd say it at least 50% of all the funds raised. There's only so many ways I can say thank you before y'all get bored with hearing of it but every night I spend a few moments on my knees giving thanks to a higher authority that there are people like YOU in the world.. There now, that's a secret out of the bag, ole Phil's a religious type. Bet you didn't see that coming eh? I just don't talk about it.

Apart from repeatedly saying thank you, I think it's appropriate to say "well done". This community of ours has really stepped up for Abby. She knows about it too. She was intending to write her own version of "thank you" notes to go out with each lot of coins, bought for more than generous prices. I know that you've been paying far more than you would have under other circumstances and you know that I know that you know. Or something like that.

Apart from those two main sources we have $400 in cash with more on the way, it was $650 but we used $250 for a deposit at the attorney's office. We also received the first child support check after all these years. It seems that the State has put a freeze on Ms Eggy's wages having finally caught up with her. (This is the real reason that she has suddenly reappeared demanding "her" daughter back). Here's the funny part - it was for $95, $94 is towards Abby's upkeep and the other $1 goes to the more than five years worth of arrears which at this rate will be paid of around the year 2607! Now for the really funny part, we never asked for child support, we neither need it or want it, we just want to be left alone. So every time a check arrives it will go right into the Justice for Abigail fund! Isn't that some delicious irony?

The current total then is over $4,000 and more arrives daily, from our own savings, coin sales which I have several outstanding I need to get busy on, the raffle alone will raise more than $500 I reckon, several members have been selling their own coins and donating the proceeds. I have a few ideas to raise funds locally and if we could just get the local press to notice the story that would be a huge boost. The largest donations have been for $500, the smallest for $2 but all are useful, and on a personal level mean very much to me. It's enough to hire an attorney for the July 10th hearing and take Eggy's deposition. Win or lose we will be going right back to court again, either to file for adoption or appeal the decision.

We remain a family under siege. My wife is suffering from some severe stress, her typically low blood pressure is off the rails and her hands are shaking continually. She works full time so dealing with all of this is in my hands. It's meant a lot of late nights and missed sleep. I'm getting tired and there's still a long way to go but I'll have to get by on willpower and a lot of coffee. The biggest effect though has been on Abby herself. She had a lot of early emotional and anger issues due to the neglect, abuse and abandonment of her first months and was diagnosed as psychotic. That's a terrible thing to see in a child so young. I can honestly count on one hand the number of occasions that my wife and I have been able to go out as a couple, she doesn't like being around strangers unless I'm right beside her. We've worked very hard to get her over this and after years of love, patience and struggle it was finally paying off. It's a burden she will carry for the rest of her life but for the past two years or so she had been symptom free and outwardly was just a beautiful, loving, healthy and happy little girl.

Events forced us to tell her about her real parentage and background at a time when she was still far too young to process it. It broke her little heart and all the progress we have made has been undone. Her psychiatric counselor who has formed a real bond with Abby, who loves her right back, burst into tears when she saw what had happened. She told her that she was upset, confused and very frightened because she was going to be taken away from her home and her family. She's becoming very withdrawn and some days she doesn't even want to go outside to play with her friends. She's been in her room a lot drawing, playing on her (my!!) laptop and watching her TV. She's not sleeping and is having awful nightmares. When I see what has been done to her I get so angry.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Thanks for an update Phil! Please take care of yourself, your lovely wife and Angel Abby! You have all the support from all of us all over the world.

Just an idea that may help Abby to open up again and see that there is much more good in this world - get a large map, like a poster, and put pins in places that people made donations from or even send you some good wishes. She will see that the whole world is behind your family! All the best!
Thanks for the update also.

Wish I could offer more than financial and emotional support.

Keep well and hug those two wonderful ladies often.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.  It's what you know for sure, that just ain't so.  Mark Twain
Abby's big heart is broken again.

She's already had to suffer far more than any child should. Having to sit her down and tell her that there was a real chance that she would be taken from everyone and everything she knew and loved was the single hardest thing I've ever had to do. I tried several times to talk to hear but she had no idea what was coming and she thought it was going to be something nice like a trip to the beach. Looking down into those beautiful trusting eyes I knew that I was going to hurt her. It was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do but it had to be me. Oh, I could have let her counsellor explain it, which would have been far easier on me, but I decided that if she was going to hear it, it was going to come from the person she loves and trusts most in the world. So I did it and the moment I saw the tears in her eyes I hated myself for what I'd just done.

Since then she been having bad nightmares and anxiety problems. We've been making the most of what may be our last days together and doing all her favorite things. We been to Busch Gardens to ride on the train and see the elephants and rhinos. I've taken her to the beach and our favorite park. Yesterday we went for ice cream after school and then played video games. I'm trying to keep her remaining days filled with happiness so that she never forgets me and how happy we were. One day when she's old enough maybe she will come home. It's also stopping her from worrying and crying in her room.

One of the things she was looking forward to the most was going up to North Carolina to see her cousins over the Memorial weekend. They live on a small farm and they are about the same age. We arranged all this way back in February before any of the troubles started and she's been talking about it ever since. She loves to ride the horses and chase the chickens around. I think she also understands that it might be the last time she ever gets to see her cousin Scarlett who is her best friend. They are the same age and size and they look like identical twins. Now, even this small thing has been taken from us. Her spiteful egg donor has via her equally spiteful attorney prevented us from taking her out of the state because we have a weekly court ordered visitation on the Sunday. It seems we have to be present and available at each scheduled visit, despite the fact that the worthless junkie never shows up. It's pretty certain that she won't bother to show up, the only time she makes it is when her mother drags her out of bed and drives her down. She's very much aware of how much this will upset Abby but does it anyway just out of sheer spite.

This is the kind of malice driven nastiness we're dealing with and this is the type of petty mean spirited person the State of Florida thinks will be a better parent than I can.

We have to win the final hearing on July 10th.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
For those who don't hang around the Swaps and Trades Forum, I've been auctioning off my coins as fast as I can get them into lots, take pictures and upload them. Hopefully there is something there for you!

https://en.numista.com/forum/topic59758.html
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Dear Phil,.. what I see here, - OMG !!!
My two children are only aim of my whole life. I cannot imagin what I`d do if someone decide to apart us.

You are right there - - "ONLY OVER MY BODY"
Please, feel me near,.. dear Phil. Kiss your princess and tell her that nobody will take her from her Dad and Mom.
God bless YOur Family!

I will contact you via fb. messenger.
dont worry please, and take care. You need to be in best condition for your daughter.
yours,
David
Thank you David, I do just that every night right after I tell her a bedtime story and tuck her in. She doesn't really understand why her life is being turned upside down but she does know that there are people all over the world who are helping her Daddy to keep her where she's safe and loved.

I've seen the family pictures - that's a beautiful wife and children. They always look so happy. I very much hope things stay that was for you my friend.

I'll catch up with you on FB later, once I get done with fighting the good fight for the day.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Just a brief update -

The raffle will be drawn tonight, thanks to everyone who participated. Good luck!

I'll start to post some of the receipts now that things are starting to move, both here and on Facebook so that everyone can see that the money is being spent appropriately.

Best news of the day, an old friend has offered a $1,000 check plus other substantial material help. I'm always reluctant to give out names as some folks are very much private but I can say it's someone known to everyone here. I'd very much like him to identify himself but that's for him to decide.

I'll be auctioning some certified coins from PCGS, NGC etc. over the weekend including some highly prized sample slabs so if that's your kind of thing you can find them here.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Hi Phil,
I know Americans celebrate later the year the father's day.
but today it's in Germany father's day. Because of this I want to congratulate YOU and YOUR daughter and not anyone else to be a family!
I wish you a nice day and good luck!
Peter
Hi there, I've never donated money on a funding website but after reading the whole story I wanted to do something to help. I know it's not a lot but I really hope you get what you need and win! I've also shared it on Facebook to try and see if anyone else can help.
All the best,
Vixon Joyce
Hello Phil,

I'm heartbroken to see this is happening to your family! I have a recommendation for you. Have you considered posting on reddit? In cases like this, you might have a chance at getting more donors.


Kind Regards,
Daniel
No longer in business since 2015. May consider swaps on rare occasions. Mostly use the profile to catalogue my personal collection.
Hello Phil, I have been following your odyssey since you first shared it with the community, i admire your courage and hope it is rewarded. As a teenager myself, I am thankful to have had a supportive and united family, (especially my grandparents) that has helped me grow into what I am. I can only wish for Abby that she continues to be able to be surrounded by the same love and affection she has had for the last six years.
Bon courage!
Loruca
I collect anything: If it's Italian or Italian states i collect it even more!
Thanks everyone. The warmth and support have been a great comfort.

I don't have a Reddit account but if anyone who does would like to share the story I would be most grateful. The same goes for any social media platform.

Thursday was Abby's final day of VPK, so the had a small ceremony and they all had their pictures taken wearing caps and gowns. We decided to go for ice cream to celebrate, we never need much of an excuse to get ice cream.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
So how are things progressing, what's next?
Whats your lawyer thinking about the July 10th hearing?

Praying for you.
Taking a break from swapping for a while, but still interested in pre 1799 Spanish coins, I will make time for that!

Looking for pre 1783 coins
We endured the final supervised visitration on Sunday. Abby made it clear to the Egg Donor that she wanted nothing to do with her. First she growled at her, like a little wolf, then told her to go away and leave her alone. She clung onto my wife and just wouldn't let go for the first hour. Then she peed her pants so we had to take her home. She did the same thing last week too. Strange, she has never, not even once wet her bed or had any "accidents" not even when she was a baby, she just took off her diapers one day and decided it was time to wear big girl's pants. Now it happens every Sunday.

On Thursday I'll be forced to hand her over and she'll be taken away until Sunday. This will be the first time we've been apart in five years. I just hope the junkie can stay off the drugs for the weekend and doesn't hurt her.

The next step in the legal battle is to take a deposition. A skilled lawyer can manage to get the unpleasant truth on record and then use it in the courtroom to counteract the rehearsed lies. We are waiting to hear the date and in the meantime I'm putting together a complete file of everything I think may be useful.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
good luck Phil
yes- also good luck Phil have made a small donation to the cause----- Murray
Thanks fellers.

She made me so happy and proud today. We were watching that awful Spongbob Squarepants thing on TV and I was pretending to be really interested by asking about the different characters. She told me "That Squidward, his full name is Squidward Tentacles". So I asked her if she knew her full name (It's actually Abigail Jean Henn-Elliott - Henn being Eggy's name). She looked me right in the eye and said "Abby Nightingale!".

She went on to tell me that she had got into trouble at school for saying that, her teacher told her no, it's Abby Henn-Elliot but she was insistent. They put her in the "bad girls corner" but she still wasn't having it.

We've never really talked about it, I just assumed that at some time down the road we'd explain things to her and let her decide. Well it seems she's been doing some thinking on her own and made her decision. So I promised her that if we win the July 10th hearing, one of the first things we will do is go down to the county courthouse and pay the $300 to have her name legally changed. I can't think of anyone I'd rather give it to.

"Why are you crying Daddy?"
"Because I'm very happy darling"
"Silly Daddy, you're supposed to do that when you're sad."

So she gave me a long hug, a kiss on the cheek and went off to draw me a picture of the three of us playing on the beach. She signed it "Abigail N". Gotta love this kid.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Awwwwww
... and now I'm looking like a fool with tears in my eyes, sitting at my desk in the office!
Just because you can't see it ... doesn't mean it isn't there - Anon.

Coin catalogue referee for England, United Kingdom & pre-Union South Africa.
Banknote catalogue referee for England & United Kingdom.
..... prayers and a little $ for you.

All the best!

Someday a decent government will be in place and these nightmares will be greatly reduced.
-Just a taxpaying serf in Amerika
Phil! Again and again and again - best of luck and best of everything to you, your lovely wife and Angel N.! :)
JUST THINKING is it not great that despite our different opinion on some topics, that the NUMISTA group membership can come to agreement when it matters, like justice for Abigail- it is great to see  !!!!
I hate to say it, but I hope the junky will really mess something up with the Courts, because kids probably are not safe with her....
Shouldn't she need to pass a drug test or something?
Taking a break from swapping for a while, but still interested in pre 1799 Spanish coins, I will make time for that!

Looking for pre 1783 coins
Post separation, my daughter comes over to my bachelor "pad" every Friday for movie night. We've been following your story closely and I have a second box of tissues ready. Our hearts and thoughts are with you and your family.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.  It's what you know for sure, that just ain't so.  Mark Twain
Yesterday afternoon I had to drive her to a pre arranged meeting and hand her over to her smirking egg donor for the weekend. It's the first time we've been apart for more than five years. It's been a rough day. Her puppy, Guinness, keeps going to her room looking for his playmate and howling. He's been hiding under her bed all night. The house just seems cold and silent.

We bought her a pre paid cell phone and put both of our numbers in. I've shown her how to use it and how to charge it. She's very smart. We hid it in the lining of her little suitcase so she's been able to call us each night when she's alone. She's safe and well but very homesick and tearful.

She's coming home on Sunday so we're going to her favorite restaurant for dinner and of course, ice cream.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Here's the receipt for the initial retainer paid to the lawyer.

Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Phil,
The best of luck! May this be the beginning of the end to this nightmare....
Aaron
I sell my Duplicate or Un-Needed coins on eBay: https://www.ebay.com/str/coinsandmorenj.
It's the first step my friends. We need to get expert witnesses on the stand to testify. She has been seeing a child psychologist, a behavioral specialist and a therapist. If we can get the testimony of all three before the court then we have a real chance to win on July 10th. Maybe even her pediatrician and teacher. They are all 100% agreed that removing her will do lifelong damage.

The fight will go on until we win. The ultimate goal is to remove the egg donor from her life permanently. This is the second time that she has destroyed my poor little princesses life. I intend to make sure we will never have to go through this again.

It's very nice that the State of Florida believes in second chances for junkies and deadbeats. But really how many second chances are enough? Especially as it's everyone else who pays the price.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Anyone want bulk coins, proof sets or certified coins at knock down prices? Maybe even a free silver coin?

https://en.numista.com/forum/topic59758.html
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
I'm taking the advice of several of my more sober and level headed friends and avoiding publishing anything which might be useful to the egg donor or her vile lawyer. You never know who is reading this.

So I'll just say this..... my beautiful, intelligent soul mate has just turned up some fantastic information which ought to turn the case upside down. I want it to come right out of the blue as a big nasty shock to the opposition so I'll keep it under wraps although I'm just itching to tell y'all. I can say though that it's going to be an "OJ's gloves" kinda moment.

I'm suddenly feeling much more confident!
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
I might just have to raise a glass (or two) to you guys tonight!
Just because you can't see it ... doesn't mean it isn't there - Anon.

Coin catalogue referee for England, United Kingdom & pre-Union South Africa.
Banknote catalogue referee for England & United Kingdom.
The house is just too quiet and empty without Abigail's constant chatter. She's enduring another weekend with eggy and she's not happy.

This is one of my favorite pictures taken during a break for some yardwork.

Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
So excited to hear what comes from your new information! I hope it works as planned, and your little one is home where she belongs soon!
I know what it's like to be in the position of seeing a son treated less than he deserves. I sincerely hope that everything goes well for you and your little princess. God bless you.
We've only just found out that last weekend she took off during the visitation and set off for home. She had already crossed a busy main road and was well on her way before anyone noticed she was missing. Clearly she's not happy and equally clearly her egg donor isn't watching her properly.

I asked her about it and how exactly she was going to make a 75 mile journey on foot. She replied "I was going to hide in the Walmart and then call you to come and get me!" Smart kid.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
I found this while cleaning Abby's room. It's a picture of her being driven away from "Abby House" for the last time, alone and crying. At the bottom of the page it reads "SAD ABIGAIL".

I'm past being upset, I'm angry at what these bastards have done to her.



Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Such a shame. Is everything still on track for a July 10th hearing? Is she still with Eggy every weekend and with you during the week? I'll be saying a prayer for your success.
Yes Sue, everything comes down to the final hearing now. If we win we file for adoption next day. If we lose there's no appeal although there are options available to ensure her safety, for example a Guardian Ad Litem which is a lawyer hired to represent Abby's interests until she reaches adulthood.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Best of luck to you and your family , during this trying time.
Stay strong and focused.

Cheers
Jim
Any progress from the courts  ??
I am thinking of you all towards this extremely important date. Hoping so much that the misery and uncertainty will soon be over.
Quote: "jokinen"​I am thinking of you all towards this extremely important date. Hoping so much that the misery and uncertainty will soon be over.
​Me too. I didn't really have the ability to help, but I'm hoping it gets better anyway.
Praying for you tomorrow!
Taking a break from swapping for a while, but still interested in pre 1799 Spanish coins, I will make time for that!

Looking for pre 1783 coins
Good luck tomorrow, Phil! I hope everything's gonna be fine.
Gordon Gekko: Now you're not naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free market.
All the best Phil, from all of the Numista community!
Hope to be hearing good news very soon.
Catalog Master Referee & Referee for UAE
https://www.instagram.com/amer.coins
Amer Salmeh
Thanks everyone. Please don't feel bad if you were unable to contribute materially, I understand that not everyone is in a position to do so. Your thoughts and prayers will suffice. In addition to the more direct aid, we have friends across the world praying for a just outcome to each of the world's main religions plus every denomination of church in the US. Strange isn't it that we can put aside our differences for a good cause, whether they be political of faith based, but the elites of the world can't manage to do the same despite having multi trillion budgets to work with.

We will be in court in just over four hours. Florida has a very flawed family law system. Casey Anthony could marry OJ Simpson and because they were found "innocent" the law would consider them to be suitable parents. Past history can NOT be considered when making a judgement, no matter how bad that history might be. The "mother" needs only claim that she is, on the day of the hearing, drug free, no longer a psycho and has a safe home for the child. So because of the way the statute is written we can't win on the grounds of abandonment, neglect and abuse. However there is an appendix to the statute which states that the court MAY consider the best interests of the child. It's entirely at the discretion of the judge but if allowed into evidence, it's a very solid case. We will be presenting a lot of peer reviewed medical papers outlining the negative impact of such an upheaval on a young child. These generally refer to otherwise stable children who don't have Abby's behavioral challenges and who are typically several years younger. We've been researching past cases where the judge has ruled based on the child's welfare instead of the "mother's" wishes and while we've found several, none of them involve a child being taken away after more than 5 years. It's just unheard of. Usually the mothers rights are terminated if she hasn't got her act together after one year.

So it depends on if the judge will have the bravery to make a ruling based on the appendix rather than the actual statute. Judges are reviewed every year based on how many of their verdicts have been overturned on appeal so they tend to play safe and go with the crowd.

Everyone knows what the right decision would be, but the US legal system has been corrupted to the point that bona fide justice is rarely served. We have a very solid case but we're preparing for the worst.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
Quote: "pnightingale"​Strange isn't it that we can put aside our differences for a good cause, whether they be political of faith based, but the elites of the world can't manage to do the same despite having multi trillion budgets to work with.
​Perhaps they all need to become coin collectors? (Although the last numismatist king I can recall ended up letting his country get taken over by fascists, so maybe not...)

Good luck today!
Thinking of you and your family, and hoping for the best.. :(
Best of luck. I wish I could have done more. Keep us all posted
All the best for today!
Do keep us updated!
Just hoping we haven't heard from you because you're working on adoption papers. I hope all went well yesterday.
It was an unmitigated disaster.

For reasons which remain unclear Abby's long time therapist flipped on the witness stand, she didn't just contradict her own testimony in previous hearings, she did a complete 180 on everything she was saying at the final case conference at our house on Sunday night and even what she told our attorney in the courthouse corridor just 15 minutes before the hearing. Maybe it was malicious schadenfreude or maybe she saw which way the wind was blowing and wanted to remain hired. Either way she blindsided everyone and destroyed our case from within. I hope that one day she will be made to pay by a higher authority.

I followed her onto the witness stand where I did everything I could to undo the damage. Abby didn't come with an owner's manual and it took a lot of love, patience, trial and error to work out when to leave her alone, when to distract her and how to help her to deal with her emotional problems. I spoke at some length but it just wasn't enough to recover from the betrayal of our main witness.

The case was won until the moment she wrecked it. I just can't understand how people can be so evil and cruel.

So, on Thursday we will be forced to hand over Abby to strangers who have already caused her great harm. We will be left with dusty, fading memories, a mountain of debt and an empty house. Everything we have worked so hard to do for her will be undone and we will watch her drive away for the final time leaving us with nothing but the impression on her pillow where she slept the last time.

Abby is very quiet, she's alone in her room or sitting in her Abby Tree in the front yard which has always been her safe place. She doesn't want to talk about it. I've promised to take her to say goodbye to each of her friends before Thursday, on Wednesday I'm going to cook her favorite dinner, "Daddy's Steak Wraps" and then we're just going to hold each other tight until she falls asleep.

The light has gone out in our lives, I'm heartbroken beyond words. I can't see any way forward from here.
Non illegitimis carborundum est.  Excellent advice for all coins.
Make Numismatics Great Again!  
How horrible! I can't believe how traumatic this is for you. Is there really nothing left to be done?

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